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Identifying Your Child's Confidence

A few days ago, I asked my son what you like about yourself, and he responded, "I like that I am happy," which, of course, made me smile. But the follow-up question of What makes you happy, "Knowing my mom loves me!" response left me feeling proud and comforted. It reminded me of the joy that comes from being a parent. However, the purpose of my question was to see his confidence level and understand how I as his mother need to improve to train him up Into becoming a confident individual.

Image by Sharon McCutcheon.

What is confidence?

The Oxford dictionary defines confidence as a feeling of self-assurance that arises from the appreciation of oneself and their abilities and qualities. My main goal as a mother of two boys is to raise them to believe in themselves and their abilities. As parents, we want them to be successful and thrive in everything they embark upon. We want to ensure that our children do not plunge into the same mistakes we made growing up. So we force them into doing things our way or hold them back from achieving their goals because of our fear of failure. In return, this can damage a child, causing them to become fearful of change and new opportunities. 

How do you know that you're raising confident kids?

Self-confidence is displayed in our kids behaviours, actions and the things they say to and around people. Some signs that your kids have confidence are:

• They are not afraid of trying new things.

• They can make decisions without needing confirmation from you or others.

• They are adaptable to their environment or situations.

• They are not people pleasers.

• They don't seek recognition or praise from anyone.

• They are determined and resilient.

• They create goals and achieve them.

Signs that your kids lack confidence

• Typically, they refuse to try new things.

• Giving up once frustrated. 

• Easily influenced.

• They are sensitive and concerned with people's opinions.

• Lack of the ability to make their own decision.

As parents, we can try to be more accepting and open-minded to our kids' wants, likes, and dislikes so they can discover their talents and interest from a none judgemental view. Encourage your kids to try new things. Help your children develop good habits and educate them on how to build and recognize good friendships where they are able to be them self. It is difficult for children to be confident in their abilities if we do not allow them to make mistakes, be independent and have some say over their lives.


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