Are you a parent that applies no rules or boundaries for your kids, or are you the type of parent that demands respect? Do you have the belief that what you say goes, with no ifs, and or buts about it? Or are you that parent who allows your child to get away with many things because you are weak to their cries? I was the parent who showed weakness towards my kid's emotions and would cave in quickly when I discipline them. For few years, I thought my parenting style was the best until I realized how damaging it could be for my kids in the future. I have learned that you can love your kids and at the same time provide the right teachings and discipline that would set them up for a brighter future. Always wanting your kid to be happy is not realistic. Children have to experience emotions and disappointments—Professor Paul from the lecture "Advance Parenting Skills" explained that life would crush our kids if we continue to baby them and not adjust our parenting style as the child grows.
As a mother of two boys, I had to first recognize and acknowledging my parenting flaws. It was crucial in the growth and improvement process; to adjust and adapt an effective parenting style. Here are four common Parenting Styles that can negatively or positively interfere with a child's development.
Four Parenting Styles
1. Authoritarian Parents.
Authoritarian parents are strictly interested in their children listening and being obedient to their every demand and request. They are not interested in the whys or buts; neither do they want to negotiate with their kids. Their primary focus is getting their children to listen and do what they say. They Are not interested in their kid's thoughts or opinions towards anything as they are solely the rule maker and the one in charge.
The Negative Effects on Children with Authoritarian Parents:
kids with authoritarian parents tend to struggle with self-esteem issues because they are used to not being heard. Most of these kids exhibit aggressive behaviours because they have built up anger, trickling down from how their parents treated them as a child.
The Positive Effect on Children with Authoritarian Parents:
Children who are subjected to authoritarian parents tend to follow the rules more.
2. Permissive Parents
Permissive parents are relaxed and not consistent with their discipline. They use discipline as a last resort method. They are nurturing and warm, which causes them not to impose limits. Their kids easily manipulate them because they are soft-hearted to their kid's needs and happiness. E.g. when a child makes a mistake or misbehaves, a Permissive parent would apply discipline; however, they would give privilege back to the child if the child shows sadness or discomfort. Permissive parents prefer to maintain a friendship with their child rather than being their parents. Permissive parents are not demanding, and they tend not to highlight good habits.
The Negative Effects on Children with Permissive Parents:
The child tends to struggle later on in their academics. They may exhibit behavioural problems as they tend not to respect authority and rules. The child may also develop low self-esteem.
The Positive Effect on Children with Permissive Parents:
Parents are supportive and responsive to their child, which is good for a child's ability to undertake new adventures with confidence.
3. Uninvolved/Neglectful Parenting
Uninvolved parents have little to no knowledge of their kid's overall well-being. They are sometimes neglectful of their child's needs as they are often caught up with their challenges and struggles of day-to-day life. A hands-off parenting style is where the parent expects the child to raise themselves. There are little to no rules, and the child may not receive much affection, nurturing, and guidance from the parent. Not much time or energy is put into the child and their development.
The Negative Effects on Children with Uninvolved Parents:
These children are likely to struggle with self-esteem issues, possess low social skills, and have an increased risk of substance abuse. They display unhappiness, behavioural problems, and even perform poorly in school.
4. Authoritative Parents
Authoritative parents use both voice and reasoning. They have rules, and when the rules are broken, they are consistent with applying the consequences. Authoritative parents have high expectations, but they also provide their kids with the support and resources needed to succeed. The good thing about authoritative Parenting is that they consider the child's opinion and value the child's feelings. Authoritative Parenting uses a praise and reward system to encourage good behaviours. Studies state that This parenting style has the best result in producing the best outcomes in children.
The Positive Effect on Children with Authoritative Parents:
kids are most likely to become responsible adults that do not have a hard time expressing their feelings and opinions. Based on studies, these kids are perceived to be happier. They can be expressive and explore new environments with confidence. They also display less violent tendencies in their day-to-day life. These kids grow to be successful individuals that thrive in any environment they are placed.
Which parenting style would you say best describes you (Authoritarian, Permissive, Uninvolved or Authoritative)?
Every child is different and may require other techniques to achieve a positive outcome. Whichever parenting method you choose or develop, ensure it is encouraging good behaviours, respect for authority and a positive effect in the child's overall life. The most important thing is that kids live a healthy, productive life that would lead to becoming successful adults.